Handy

This girl I know

This girl I know is lovely. She doesn’t like it when I tell her that, she believes otherwise, but what she believes is wrong. Her mind has been filled with societal trends and the world’s lies an slander.

The world creates these stories about pop divas and bullshit cultures that lodges in our brains and forces us to believe them. It happens to everyone and it has happened to this girl.

You see, I love this girl. I know her and I know her stories. She is beautiful and she does not see it. Her past and present are being maimed by the media and its impossible standards. She is afraid to put effort into looking good because she thinks it is impossible. But I know that for her it is entirely possible. She has an incredibly strong mind and anything she wants she can obtain.

I am going to help her, not just because I am in love with her, but because I know in my heart that she deserves to feel fantastic about herself. She has come so far in life and will go much farther, this girl I know.

E

Hair at shoulders.

Dark shining red.

Eyes large.

Wonder inside.

Hints of autumn. 

Smile confirms.

Shaped soft nose.

Pale but warm.

Metal within.

Silk skin.

Curves turn me around.

Beauty within.

Without, but not without.

Beautifully constructed.

Tactful.

Silly.

Graceful.

Aloof.

Happy.

In sorrow.

Loving.

Loved.

5,254 mi

I’ve seen giants stretched across vast lands

Hold each other close at night.

I’ve seen the distance of stars extend

And bend into their arms.
 

Distance and displacement in motion

And far out of motion.

Love extending from beyond mass,

Resting inside each other.
 

Focusing on the surreal and the bizarre

To keep the mind focused.

Focused on facts and figures that I

Would rather do without.
 

She’s there and I am here and 

The world spins equally.

But my world spins at a distance,

Which topples my joy. 
 

Yet our hearts ignore distance and 

Rest on confidence.

As our hands hold each other close despite

Loss of physicality. 

Summer

Summer is interesting. I’m glad that school is over and I’m glad that I get to spend time in Hawaii with my family, but I am not glad in the slightest leaving behind Emilie in Nashville. That combined with the weirdness and jarring change of surroundings is making me feel strange. 

I love Emilie to pieces and she is extremely important to me. It’s made me question what I am doing here. I suppose it boils down to family and not having a place to stay in Nashville. The combination of those things brought me here. I am still dependent on my parents for practically anything, and until I can get a job to support myself, it will remain that way. Once I can support myself I will also work on supporting Emilie, etc etc. It all seems like it will tie together and work out perfectly eventually — I just need to wait it out. Things will work.

I’m not sure how much of my next summer I will be spending here, but I know it will be less than this summer which makes me glad. 3 and a half months away from Emilie and my home is a lot, even when it’s staying with family. It’s just weird that a year ago I never would have wanted to stay away from my family and now I am yearning to get back to Nashville. I suppose I set up a life for myself in Nashville and tearing away and coming here is throwing me off. 

All I know for sure is that I love and miss Emilie terribly, I miss spending time with friends, and I miss being comfortable and taking long naps. I don’t know much.

Torn away into a world

That accepts and wants me.

That accepts and wants her.

We replace habit with love 

And plunge our hands into

Each others.

Faster and faster it beats

As she sits next to me and

Tells me of herself.

The only thing I need to hear.

I follow her words and

I follow her face.

I’m sworn to its expressions.

We walk and I hold her.

We sit and I hold her.

She rests within my mind

And within my arms she sighs.

I think about the stars

And the universe that surrounds

Her and I as we sit.

The world makes sense inside her head.

Order

He sat and stared at the obscenely fashioned sidewalk that ran alongside the street outside his kitchen window. Who dared to place such an orderly and perfectly straight shot of concrete? Imperfections surrounded him. Water boiled on the stove, steaming bubbles dancing in chaotic order across waves of heat. A dog rested beside him, with sheets of drool sprawled in and around his crooked teeth. The very window he looked out of was riddled with spots of various shapes and sizes, demanding to be wiped free of their bondage to the glass.

And yet, with the imperfections around him so numerous, the sidewalk sat just 10 feet away from him, shooting off like an arrow into some sort of rude perfection. It was sickening.

If You Don’t Mind Me Saying

You’re an existence, 
I fixed point in time.
Yes, we all are,
But you more fit the rhyme.

You are simply numb
Because you’ve simply won.
You bested your mind
And counted to one.

You’ve focused yourself
And put forth your best.
Your face shows love
And your love, happiness.

There are those
That need you
And there are those
That need truth.

We all face facts
And all face figures.
But what you face
Is not what you’ve triggered.

Live life like love’s lost
And laugh long and lightly. 
For you’re far too kind
To take pain slightly.

You let it all in
And refuse to push out.
Your caring arms embrace
All of their doubt.

But your life is lived
And continues to strive.
Live like you be
To fight to survive.